ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm eating all of the evidence.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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