hotel room ftw
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize