No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
