Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You need a sexual gate keeper
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
