You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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