I'm so fucking centered right now
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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