Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he thought i was a dude.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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