how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i think im in europe. pls send help
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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