You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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