i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
