the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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