p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
