On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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