He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
