so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
