It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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