Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize