I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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