Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
