can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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