whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
