You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize