my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize