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In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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