Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
