I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
