Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
