All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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