my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
