Define "chronic" masturbator.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize