he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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