I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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