How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
