you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
