Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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