i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Princesses don't give blow jobs
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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