you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
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Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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