in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We need to rekindle our bromance
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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