I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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