does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Your cock deserves a montage
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
