went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
