Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  where am I supposed to find one of those?

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  (225): I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8. (225): where am I supposed to find one of those? http://tfl.nu/uj31
  Replies (17) Good night (1097) Bad night (2551)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.

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  (716): I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were. http://tfl.nu/cyr9
  Replies (19) Good night (4750) Bad night (643)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order

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  (847): then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order http://tfl.nu/len1
  Replies (11) Good night (846) Bad night (5404)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.

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  (401): I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes. http://tfl.nu/a6fu
  Replies (12) Good night (4983) Bad night (867)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed

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  (303): I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed http://tfl.nu/1p3v
  Replies (24) Good night (804) Bad night (5703)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night

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  (712): I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night http://tfl.nu/e3vx
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (1048)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg

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  (217): Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg http://tfl.nu/vp09
  Replies (8) Good night (2331) Bad night (613)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl

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  (407): I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl http://tfl.nu/1s7i
  Replies (11) Good night (1758) Bad night (529)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.

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  (989): I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep. http://tfl.nu/zu0y
  Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (774)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.

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  (+44): Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection. http://tfl.nu/1vl5
  Replies (9) Good night (801) Bad night (259)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!

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  (630): Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law! http://tfl.nu/y27z
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (269)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.

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  (705): I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza. http://tfl.nu/7yan
  Replies (10) Good night (706) Bad night (260)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.

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  (706): All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated. http://tfl.nu/hsx6
  Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (182)
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  (415): View more from California

  Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.

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  (415): Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/dkfp
  Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (185)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.

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  (412): You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room. http://tfl.nu/nfbu
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (142)

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