Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
birth control should be required to get into college
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Randomize
