the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila