Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  shaved balls and baby powder=awesome

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  (571): shaved balls and baby powder=awesome http://tfl.nu/ap4d
  Replies (11) Good night (1169) Bad night (519)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.

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  (832): If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs. http://tfl.nu/152p
  Replies (9) Good night (2395) Bad night (492)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.

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  (847): Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie. http://tfl.nu/jaub
  Replies (22) Good night (637) Bad night (4261)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.

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  (270): The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home. http://tfl.nu/2p12
  Replies (59) Good night (3892) Bad night (1202)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.

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  (502): I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept. http://tfl.nu/hraq
  Replies (7) Good night (3388) Bad night (866)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle

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  (610): You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle http://tfl.nu/ha8a
  Replies (5) Good night (775) Bad night (1954)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.

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  (412): I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call. http://tfl.nu/5iup
  Replies (17) Good night (2624) Bad night (590)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did it work?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

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  (918): I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over. (336): Did it work? (918): Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door. http://tfl.nu/swzf
  Replies (8) Good night (3027) Bad night (558)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl

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  (407): I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl http://tfl.nu/1s7i
  Replies (11) Good night (1800) Bad night (581)
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  (562): View more from California

  I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas

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  (562): I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas http://tfl.nu/zf6g
  Replies (7) Good night (846) Bad night (299)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs

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  (903): On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs http://tfl.nu/pggr
  Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (341)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2

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  (616): i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool. (616): someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2 http://tfl.nu/9ec4
  Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (727)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.

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  (219): I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying. http://tfl.nu/c4tp
  Replies (4) Good night (1399) Bad night (592)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.

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  (505): We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back. http://tfl.nu/nmtq
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (212)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick

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  (+44): Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick http://tfl.nu/8ik3
  Replies (5) Good night (737) Bad night (370)

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