Me too!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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