and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.