She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
