i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
