You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
