I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
