I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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