How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize