i think my mom watched the whole time
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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