haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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