I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
