The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
