i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
