omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
