half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
