Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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