her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Even my vagina gasped.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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