So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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