Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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