That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
