win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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