The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
